You're the most Important person for me,Mom

I know I was a bad daugther,I never make you pround of me even for a sec. I always make you sad because my ego and troubel that I made. I'm High School student now,and I know I'm not as mature as my age I'm just shit person who always act like a 5 y.o and make difficult time for you. I often yelling you because you care of me, I'm so stupid. I always lie to you when I want to go out with my friends and you still trust me. You know I'm the only one who was wrong,but you still defend me in front of the other. This January there're three people of my classmates will have birthday, I force you to give me some money to give them a liltle surprise party but I never give you one. I was the stupidest kid in this world! I never be grateful to have you. I always yell to you because a liltle problem. I yell to you when you stalking my twitter, I yell to you when you not give me something that I want, I yell to you a lot and you never yelling me back. When I was sick you always there for me. But I .. what can I do? I know you hide your sickness in front of me,and I know it's pretty serious now. But you still smile in front of us,why mom? didn't you trust us? I just don't know how to live without you. You said to not care about it,but I can't mom just for you know all day long I cried because of you. I just don't know how to tell my friends about my swollen eyes tomorrow. Just tell me the truth mom. and I want to say something to you mom, a sentence that I never say to you 

'You're the most important person for me,more than anything'

God,I beg You please protect my mother 
I'll never forgive You if You take her from me